Your Identity Isn’t What You Do—It’s Who You Belong To

There’s a strange pressure we carry—especially as women—to be everything.

We’re the mom, the wife, the organizer, the friend, the helper, the encourager, the one who remembers snacks and birthdays and the field trip form that somehow disappeared in the abyss of the school backpack.

And even if you’re not in a season of motherhood, there’s still that pressure: To succeed. To stay busy. To always be “on.”

But here’s the hard truth I had to learn (and still re-learn every day):

I am not what I do. And neither are you.

The Labels That Weigh Us Down

I used to measure my worth by my productivity. I felt more valuable when I was performing, when I had something to show for my day. But that’s a heavy way to live.

At some point, my identity became tangled in titles and expectations: “Pastor.” “Good mom.” “Reliable friend.” “Successful woman.” And when I wasn’t living up to those labels? I felt like I didn’t even know who I was anymore.

Have you ever felt that way?

The world is quick to hand us labels. But most of them are based on performance. And God? He never asked us to earn our identity. He simply gave it.

What God Says About Who You Are

Let’s clear this up: your identity isn’t rooted in what others say about you, or even what you say about you.

It’s rooted in what God has already declared. “You are my daughter. You are loved. You are chosen. You are not your past, not your pain, and not your perfection.”

He knew exactly what He was doing when He created you. Psalm 139 says you are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Ephesians 2:10 says you were created on purpose for a purpose. That’s not just a motivational quote—that’s a truth to build your life on.

The Problem with Performance-Based Identity

When we base our identity on what we do, our confidence will always rise and fall with how we’re performing.

Bad day = bad identity.

Good day = temporary confidence boost.

It’s a rollercoaster. And it’s exhausting. But identity rooted in Christ is different. It doesn’t change when life does. It’s unshakable. It’s not threatened by failure. It’s not inflated by applause. It’s secure because it’s grounded in who we belong to.

So How Do We Stay Rooted in That Truth?

Here are a few ways I keep coming back to my true identity:

1. Speak Scripture Over Yourself

Daily affirmations aren’t just a trend. They’re spiritual warfare.

“I am a child of God.” (John 1:12)

“I am fully known and fully loved.” (Romans 8:38–39)

“I am a new creation.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

“I am God’s masterpiece.” (Ephesians 2:10)

Keep these on your mirror. Write them in your journal. Speak them out loud until your heart believes what your mind already knows.

2. Release the Masks

You don’t have to be a different version of yourself depending on the room you’re in.

You’re allowed to show up as your whole, honest, imperfect self.

God doesn’t bless who we pretend to be—He blesses who we actually are.

3. Lean Into Community

Find people who speak truth over you when you forget. We all need voices that remind us:

“You’re not alone. You’re not too much. You’re not failing. You’re God’s beloved.”

Surround yourself with people who help you take off the pressure and put on peace.

Final Thought

You are not what you do. You are not what others think. You are not how productive your day was. You are not defined by your past or your pain.

You are loved. You are chosen. You are seen. You are HIS. That’s the only identity that will hold when life starts shaking.

This blog is part of a July series based on Chapter 1 of my book, A Pace of Grace. I wrote it for the woman who’s tired of chasing peace and never quite finding it.

Let’s stop hustling for approval and start resting in the grace we’ve already been given.

💛 Preorder details coming soon

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When You Feel Rushed, Remember This

“The Lord is my shepherd… He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.”

— Psalm 23:1–3

Ever feel like you’re racing through summer instead of resting in it?

Between keeping up with routines (or the lack of them), trying to make memories, managing the heat, and balancing your own needs with everyone else’s—it’s easy to feel like you’re just trying to keep up.

But here’s a gentle truth: God never rushes us.

He doesn’t push or prod. He leads. He walks. And He knows exactly what you need—not just to get through the day, but to be restored within it.

If you’re feeling rushed, overwhelmed, or running on empty, this is your invitation to pause. To remember that you weren’t made to move at the speed of culture. You were made to follow the pace of the Shepherd.

The same God who created galaxies also created margin. The same Jesus who healed the crowds also withdrew to rest. And the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells in you—even on your busiest days.

So if all you can manage this week is a whispered, “Jesus, slow me down,”—that’s enough.

Stillness isn’t always situational. It’s spiritual. And peace doesn’t come from a perfect calendar. It comes from walking closely with the One who restores your soul.

Slow-Down Spiritual Practice: Breath Prayer

Find a quiet moment—even in your car or while folding laundry—and pray with your breath:

Inhale: “The Lord is my Shepherd…”

Exhale: “…I lack nothing.”

Repeat it slowly 3–5 times.

Let the truth of His presence slow your heart and steady your soul.

Sabbath Rhythms for the Summer Soul

“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.”

— Isaiah 30:15

The word “Sabbath” might stir up images of quiet Sundays, unplugged afternoons, or a peaceful day at church. But in reality? Summer Sabbaths can look more like kid chaos, sports tournaments, and last-minute BBQs. Not exactly restful.

But here’s the thing: Sabbath isn’t just a command—it’s a gift.

It’s not a rule to follow, but a rhythm to receive.

Sabbath isn’t just sitting still all day; it’s about stopping—even briefly—to remind your soul that you are not defined by how much you do. It’s a holy pause that says, “God, I trust You to hold everything, even while I rest.”

Summer can make this rhythm feel messy. But what if we gave ourselves permission to practice it imperfectly?

Maybe it looks like sleeping in one Saturday a month. Maybe it’s a no-laundry Sunday. Maybe it’s turning your phone off for an hour and playing cards in the living room.

Sabbath is less about a rulebook and more about realigning with the pace of grace. Your soul was never meant to run at full speed all the time. This summer, let Sabbath be a gentle reminder that God is your rest, not your schedule.

Slow-Down Spiritual Practice: Create a “Mini Sabbath”

Pick one evening this week to rest with intention.

Turn off your phone, light a candle, play worship music, and do something life-giving: take a walk, read, journal, or simply be still.

Ask: “What would bring rest to my body and delight to my soul tonight?”

Then do that—without guilt.

Creating Sacred Space in the Chaos

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

— Psalm 46:10

Summer can feel loud.

Not just in sound—but in activity, movement, and constant need. There’s the snacks, the sunscreen, the sibling squabbles, the surprise errands, and the late nights that somehow still start with early mornings. Stillness? It feels like a luxury.

But what if sacred space isn’t about escaping the chaos—what if it’s about inviting God into it?

Stillness isn’t just found in silence. It’s found in awareness.

It’s the heart that whispers, “God, I see You here”—in the laughter, the mess, the mundane.

Sacred space is created when we pause, even briefly, to remember He’s with us. It’s in the exhale. The turned-off notifications. The decision to sit outside for five minutes without multitasking.

God doesn’t need perfection to meet with us. He meets us in the in-between.

You don’t have to wait for a retreat to rest. You don’t need a clean kitchen to connect.

You just need a moment. And a willing heart.

This summer, let’s stop chasing quiet circumstances and start noticing God’s quiet presence.

Because when we slow down—even just for a breath—we begin to see that He’s been here all along.

Slow-Down Spiritual Practice: Sacred Pause

Set a recurring alarm on your phone at a time that usually feels hectic—maybe 12:30pm or 4:00pm. When it goes off, take one minute to pause, breathe deeply, and pray:

“God, I invite You into this moment. Help me see You here.”

That one minute can become a sacred reset in the middle of your day.

The Myth of the Perfect Summer: Letting Go of Expectations

“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

— Matthew 11:28

When summer rolls around, I always imagine long, slow mornings with coffee in hand, kids playing happily in the yard, and unhurried evenings under twinkle lights. But by the second week of June, I’m usually staring down a packed calendar, sticky floors, and a to-do list that didn’t take a summer vacation.

Somewhere along the way, we bought into the idea that summer should be magical, memorable, and perfectly curated. Whether it’s Pinterest-worthy vacations, a house full of fun (but exhausting) activities, or trying to be everything to everyone—our expectations can weigh us down.

But Jesus doesn’t invite us into a “perfect” summer. He invites us into rest. Into stillness. Into His presence—right in the middle of messy living rooms and noisy pool days.

What if this summer, we laid down the pressure to make it perfect and chose to make it peaceful instead?

What if the most beautiful moments weren’t the ones we planned, but the ones we paused for?

The gentle breeze on a hot afternoon. A spontaneous dance party in the kitchen. A quiet moment in the Word before anyone else wakes up. These aren’t interruptions—they’re invitations.

So friend, if you’re already feeling the weight of summer expectations, take a deep breath. Jesus isn’t asking you to impress Him—He’s inviting you to rest in Him.

Slow-Down Spiritual Practice: The “One Thing” Prayer

Each morning this week, ask God: “What’s one thing I need to let go of today? And what’s one thing You’re inviting me to receive?”

Write it down. Let go of the burden. Receive the grace. Sometimes slowing down starts with surrendering just one thing.